Do you have the right words?
Think for a minute about some of the greatest tragedies that have occurred in modern human history. Whether it’s World War II or September 11th, in these moments of tragedy, all eyes turn to the leader. Along your leadership journey, you will be faced with extreme challenges as a result of failures and unforeseen circumstances. While there may rarely be loss of life involved, there is certainly the livelihood and well-being of dozens or even hundreds of people who are deeply impacted in these moments. There is immense pressure on the leader to respond with words of wisdom and encouragement. The initial utterance of words that you speak following an extraordinary organizational difficulty can often set the tone for how your team will respond. Even though the words eventually have to come, I have learned that there is another key skill for the leader, and that is responding in the moments when words are not enough.
There is a story from ancient times about a wealthy and prosperous man named Job. One day, over a very short period of hours, Job was informed through a series of terrible tragedies that all his children had been killed, and his wealth had been taken from him. A short time later, he developed a skin condition that put him in a constant state of physical pain to match his already broken heart. It was a stunning and horrible turn of events for Job. The story says that upon the culmination of these calamities, he found himself sitting in a pile of ashes. When Job’s friends heard about his plight, they immediately came to comfort him. But their initial response is what I want to look at more deeply. When they approached Job, they simply sat on the ground next to him for seven days, and they didn’t say a word.
Too often we feel that leadership means having the right words at the right time and being able to come up with the right course of action to respond to tragedy and failure. This is a typical approach for the young leader who wants to get through problems as quickly as possible. It takes a more mature leader to understand that a quiet moment and a listening heart will deepen your leadership bonds within your organization much more effectively. Job’s friends understood something thousands of years ago that leaders still struggle to grasp today: when someone is in pain, sometimes the best course of action is to simply put your arm around them and let them be seen.
Take five minutes and consider: when difficult times come upon your organization or an individual in your organization, how do you respond? Is your immediate response to start talking and formulating a plan of action? Can you be mature enough to share the pain of the organization long enough to allow them to be seen and heard?
Can you even imagine the extreme moments of awkwardness Job’s friends experienced over a seven-day period of silence? Yet they didn’t run from the awkward—they embraced it. The ironic thing about this story is that when his friends eventually did decide to speak, their words fell much flatter than their initial response of silence and solidarity. You, as the leader, must also embrace the awkward but powerful moments when words are not enough. Your ability to be calm and provide comfort without words will often be your greatest gift to the organization in the wake of tragedy.
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